ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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