yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
