Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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