I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
