In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
