Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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