a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
