Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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