i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
