I wanna passion pit in your ass
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
