if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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