Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
