I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your dad touched me again.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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