Sacagawea was the original milf.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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