your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Operation Purity has been aborted
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
