Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
