the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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