She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
