Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
should my penis look like a turkey
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
