I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think my moral compass just broke
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize