I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
