Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i now understand why vodka
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
