I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
