So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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