I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
