Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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