I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oh god the rape fog is back!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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