I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize