u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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