a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
