this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
