You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
