We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
