Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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