There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
