i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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