I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize