At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
