eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
