My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want a musical about memes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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