Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize