On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
