apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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