Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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