At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
