I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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