Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize