Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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