In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
