go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
