Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
