My first STD was from a foam party
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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