i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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