"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
