people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
