Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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