He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
