I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
