His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
